What is the Soul Healing Love Model of Relationships?

The Soul Healing Love Model integrates psychological principles with biblical truths. The basic tenets of the Soul Healing Love Model are that God’s unconditional love heals our soul wounds and restores us to wholeness. Jeremiah 30:17 says, “I will restore health unto thee and heal thee of thy wounds.” God’s healing love helps us see ourselves through His eyes, and learn to love ourselves as He does, imperfections and all. Because we feel loved and lovable, we can allow God’s love and grace to spill out onto our spouse and children. We can see them through God’s eyes, and desire to love and heal them as God has loved and healed us.

Originally, the Lord gave us this model to heal our own past soul wounds and subsequently heal our wounded marriage. (Yes, even marriage counselors have marital and family problems.) We have been using this model with couples and families for the past 20 years and have taught it to ministers, counselors, marriage mentors, and lay leaders all across the globe.

The model details current findings in the field of neurobiology, which explain why people overreact when past soul wounds are triggered in current familial relationships, and thus act in unhealthy ways. It offers practical, easy-to-learn communication tools and techniques designed to help couples and families gain insight, enhance empathy and foster forgiveness. They help couples and family members identify childhood wounds that are triggered in their current relationship interactions which enables them to separate reactivity about past wounds from anger at current marital or family offenses. The techniques also help people identify the deeper feelings lying underneath these issues and move to healing themselves and each other and thus pass this healing down to children and other family members.

Soul Healing Love is helpful for dating, engaged and married couples, and those in relationships deciding if they want to be married, as well as in singles wanting to build healthy relationships in the future.

It is nothing short of miraculous as we see God use the tools and techniques that He gave us to help couples and families turn hurting moments into healing moments and save doomed marriages and hurting families for generations to come. We feel honored that the Lord has given us the Soul Healing Love Model and want to share it with as many families as we can.

Foundational Theories of the Soul Healing Love Model:

  • Family Systems Theory
  • Transgenerational Family Therapy
  • BehavioralMarital Therapy
  • Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy
  • Imago Relationship Theory
  • Biblical Principles

Aspects of Soul Healing Love:

Didactic: Marriage skills are taught in sessions and weekend workshops.
Experiential: Couples use tools to access childhood wounds, see their own reactivity, and how these wounds affect their adult relationships.
Relational: Couples share these findings with each other in an effort to develop mutual understanding and empathy and not trigger one another in marriage.

Ten Soul-Healing Love Techniques:

  • The Soul Healogram — Accesses information about your past that is buried deep within the soul.
  • The Soul-Healing Plan — Helps you set personal and relational goals for your life
  • The GIFT Exercise — GIFT represents the four emotions that are expressed with anger:
    • Guilt, Inferiority, Fear, Trauma (or pain).
  • The Digging Deeper Exercise —Shows you how to dig deeper within yourself to figure out why certain things upset you in your marriage.
  • The Behavior Change Request — Teaches you how to ask your partner to change unwanted behavior, without conflict.
  • Mirroring or Parroting — A listening technique that helps you hear and be heard without misunderstanding or misinterpretation.
  • The True Vision Exercise —- Enables you to see the truth about your partner and your relationship. This truth sets you free.
  • The Giving of Presents —- A list of things that you can do for each other that can make you feel connected, secure, and cared for.
  • The Relationship Update — A format for checkups in your relationship.

The Forgiving Experience — An organized, sacred plan for you to forgive and be forgiven for crimes of the heart and soul.

“The Soul Healing Love model goes beyond general principles of relating to the opposite sex and helps us to develop deeper personal insight and authentic relationship with God. It fosters an awareness of what drives us in relationships and helps us to see and understand these pieces of ourselves. Through this process, we are able to have a greater sense of joy and peace while we grow in wholeness and healthiness as individuals, and in our marriage and family relationships.” Bill, Therapist, Orlando.

“The model offers more than practical advice about marital needs, basic values, or proper communication. It formulates a comprehensive, in-depth understanding of hidden issues in our lives that may be unresolved which have an impact on all familial relationships. Built upon this awareness, Soul Healing Love goes on to offer simple yet spiritually powerful tools for individual healing, and marital and familial restoration. It reaches into the depths of the individual and relational soul and provides powerful healing, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually.” Ken and Alice, Pastors and Marriage Mentors, Virginia.