How to Survive the Covid Quarantine

The Covid-19 pandemic and the Quarantine that resulted is unprecedented for sure. Daily reports of positive tests and deaths can be a challenge for anyone much less a counselor whose desire is to aid in human suffering. I’d like to share some of that personal experiences with you; the good and the bad challenges and […]

How do I Handle my Emotions During Covid-19 or Any Crisis?

How are you? A common question during this time of crisis. A time filled with anxiety, fear, depression, chaos and the unknown. Others are checking in with us to see how we are and what we need. But what if you don’t know what you need? What if you don’t know HOW you feel? And, […]

Tips for Quarantining with your Spouse

Let’s be honest, one of the hardest things we can do in life is be married. Now add the stress of being locked in a house together worried about the Covid-19 virus and other things like kids and finances. To be honest, our marriages are normally the first relationship that feels this kind of stress. […]

Fear and Trust…Does it Make Me a Bad Christian to have Both?

Are you afraid right now? Because i’m gonna just be totally honest. I am scared. There are days when I’m terrified, reading the news fiendishly to see if there’s been an update to the death tolls, the outbreaks in my county, trying to find out if my family and I are safe. Then there are […]

How to Deal With Kids 24/7 During the Stay At Home Order

Parents of young children, we are here for you! In this time of uncertainty, we know you are faced with a host of changes to daily life and routine. But rest assured, as a parenting intervention researcher and therapist, I want to share with you some fabulous insights on the positive outcomes that a stay-at-home […]

How to Use the Quarantine for Change…It Starts with Intentionality

“So how’s the quarantine going for you”?  This is a question that seems to be the first thing out of everyone’s mouth these days.  Kind of like the typical, “How’s the weather?” or “Did you see that the Panthers hired a new coach?”  It seems to be our new norm right now.  None of us […]

What Do Single Guys Feel on Valentine’s Day

In 2017, Toluna Research, a market research firm, conducted a study on behalf of Dairy Queen to determine both singles’ and couples’ attitudes about Valentine’s Day. The research found an interesting detail, that single men are more likely to be sad on Valentine’s Day than women. Further, one in four single men are likely to […]

Is love work?

In the 2001 movie, Moulin Rouge, one of the best lines in the movie is “The greatest thing you will ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.” I have to admit that this is my favorite love story of all time, not to mention it has the greatest movie soundtrack I […]

Do You More Balance In Your Technology Usage

In our new book Tech-Pecked or Tuned In: Finding God in a Digital World we share a great deal of research about how technology use can have a negative effect on the brain. Concepts like “switch cost “which is the time it takes to get refocused on a project after you get interrupted by the […]

How to Hear From God

Isaiah shares God promise in Isaiah 26:3, “You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you.” We can’t keep our thoughts fixed on God if we are interrupted by our phones. With the average user checking his or her phone every 6.5 minutes or an average of […]

Why Is Gratitude So Important?

It seems that feeling and expressing gratitude is touted by everyone from talk-show hosts to magazine editors. Oprah, Dr. Oz, Women’s Day all declare the virtues of Gratitude.  Gratitude Journals pop up everywhere especially in this season of Thanksgiving which is an entire holiday dedicated to…well Gratitude. The reason is simple; Gratitude is good for […]

Should I See a Counselor?

“You should see a counselor!” or “You’re crazy! You should see a psychiatrist!” are not the phrases you want to hear from your mom, dad, sister, brother or friend. Often times we hear phrases like these in the middle of arguments or times of high stress. What we forget to understand is that these coarse […]

How Your Past Can Wreak Havoc on Your Marriage Today (And What to Do About It)

The following is a story from our book, Soul Healing Love. It illustrates how we have trauma that is processed and stored in the “old brain” or the amygdala and hippocampus if you are interested! This trauma can be triggered in one sixteenth of a second! One of the most common places it gets triggered […]

How to Develop Spiritual Intimacy in Marriage By Drs. Bev and Tom Rodgers

Tom and wrote this article 20 years ago for a newsletter for Association for Couples and Marriage Enrichment and it is even more valid for today’s couples and families. The clock goes off at 6:30 am, and our team effort starts.  Together we pack children’s lunches, make sure book bags are loaded and papers are […]

Current Marital Research Echoes the Biblical Wisdom of Proverbs

Famous marriage researcher, Dr. John Gottman, studied marriage for decades at the University of Washington in Seattle. He now trains therapists and writes books on his findings. He actually had a “love-lab” where couples came and lived, and were observed via hidden camera. These couples were also wired to biofeedback machines to determine their levels […]

What is a Healthy Way to Deal With Anger and Conflict in Marriage

What is a Healthy Way to Deal With Anger and Conflict in Marriage

Every marriage has conflict. In fact, famous marital researcher, Dr. John Gottman, says good marriages that last the test of time are not void of conflict. Healthy couples just know how to resolve these inevitable disagreements. It has been our experience as marital therapists for the last 40 years that most couples fight about superficial, surface issues, and often miss the real reasons that lie beneath their anger. The chronic conflict over your husband not cleaning up his crumbs from the counter may not really be about crumbs at all. There could be a deeper root. Finding the deeper root can help couples resolve conflict and even bring healing to each other.

How to Heal Past Hurts and Painful Experiences

How to Heal Past Hurts and Painful Experiences By Drs. Bev and Tom Rodgers March 2019 We all have experienced painful things in our past; a betrayal from a trusted friend, or spouse, negative words spoken in anger by a parent, and some have even experienced physical abuse at the hands of those who were […]

How Christian Counseling Saves Marriages

February 2, 2019 How Christian Counseling Saves Marriages Christian Counseling is different because in addition to using evidence based models, tools and techniques it also incorporates the client’s relationship with Jesus Christ and how that relationship can be healed by experiencing His Love and Grace in their lives. This is what the Soul Healing Love […]

How to Keep Romance Alive in Marriage

In our busy fast paced lives Romance doesn’t just come naturally after we get married. In order to keep Romance alive you actually have to work at it. Here are some dos and don’t’s of keeping romance alive. 1. Don’t take your mate for granted. When you marry you have a romance. It is noun, […]

Make Sure It’s a Fair Fight

Conflict is inevitable in relationship, especially in marriage. You can’t take 2 different people with different personalities, from completely different environments and upbringings, ask them to pay mortgages, manage careers, and raise humankind in an enclosed space called a house without some conflict. That being said conflict is inevitable but combat is optional! So the […]

Whatsoever is Good, Lovely, Pure

There is so much negative in the world today it can be easy to miss the good, the positive, the smile from the grocery clerk, cooling rain on a hot summer day, a beautiful sunset. Just watch the news and you will get an earful of tragedy, misery and pain. The Apostle Paul saw the […]

What do you believe about God?

Sarah Young in her great devotional, Jesus Calling, makes the statement that wounded people have trouble with faith. We agree . If you were told or made to believe by a parent that you were not loved, or not good enough this can leave a deep wound of inferiority in you that we call a […]

Our Thoughts Matter

Our thoughts matter because Neuroscience teaches us that thoughts have matter. Quantum Physics reinforces that finding stating that thoughts can be registered on special computers. Oh how I wished I had paid more attention in my physics classes!  Dr. Caroline Leaf says that thoughts are measurable and occupy mental “real estate.” Thoughts are active and influence […]